By DAWN REED
Jesus’ brother, James, wrote of being double-minded in James 1:6-8: “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”
Written concerning “wisdom” (vs. 5), it applies to much more. Double-minded is split-thinking: I want to believe. I want to trust, yet I don’t. How many times have I asked but doubted? For me, being double-minded connects to horseback riding.
My son suggested a horse ride last week while we were on vacation. I jumped at the chance-sort of. I had secretly wanted to ride a horse for years but was scared.
I quickly began to overthink the whole shebang. On the outside, I looked excited. On the inside, I was growing more unsure by the second. Could I face my fear and have a carefree time of horse-riding with my grown son?
He made the arrangements for us. We would ride the next day.
Our guide’s name was Brayden. He spoke in hushed tones to our mounts. We began a leisurely walk along the beach. Almost immediately, my horse lost its footing in a wave and mushy sand. I held my breath. Regaining his step, we picked up the pace. I prayed for our safety. Didn’t a guy have a compound fracture a few years ago while riding here? I pondered. I was pretty sure he had.
Focus! I told myself, trying not to picture a cast.
My son was clearly enjoying himself. I was remembering that we didn’t really know the guy who was taking us on this jaunt. Could we take him if necessary? (I read mysteries.)
Neither my son nor I had ridden in decades but we seemed to fall right in sync with our horses.
We turned to venture into the woods. Again, I remembered that we barely knew this horse guy, Brayden. Many of my thoughts included the phrase, “knocked in the head”. (I read a lot of mysteries.)
The tropical vegetation was beautiful. No longer concerned about a compound fracture, I wondered when my husband would realize we were missing.
While not typically a fearful person, this time I had caved to a spell of double-mindedness! On the outside, I was smiling, On the inside, I was a mess. My imagination was running amok. Two hours later, we returned unharmed to the place we began. I was exhausted and not from bouncing in the saddle.
I wanted to kick myself! How many times have I not enjoyed “the ride” because I was thinking of all that could possibly go wrong?
When James penned the double-minded verses, had he remembered the story of Simon Peter (Matthew 14)? At first, Peter was extremely courageous, jumping out of the boat to get to Jesus. For just a few steps he walked on water! When he saw the wind and the waves, his faith flickered. Down he went, but that wasn’t the end. Without hesitation, Jesus grabbed his sinking hand, asking, “Why did you doubt?” The same question applies to this cowgirl wannabe: Why do I doubt?
Father, please help me trust in You and not doubt. Help me to pray and let You work! I don’t want to be double-minded ever again!
FIRST-PERSON: A double-minded horse ride - Kentucky Today
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